Words of Affirmation
We all like to hear someone praise us, to give us a little attention or to be rewarded in some way. We crave to hear the words, “well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23). These words of affirmation are encouraging and show recognition for effort and work. Words of Affirmation are one of the love languages described by Gary Chapman in The Five Love Languages. Words of affirmation are a way that we can be loved and show love to others.
What exactly does “Words of Affirmation” mean? These are more than just a simple, “good job,” after a long day’s work. Words of affirmation are expressions of love. So much of what we do in life is an expression of love or a demonstration of our distance and lack of love. Words of affirmation could just as easily be compared to words of hate, the things you might say that tear someone down or wound their spirit.
Words of affirmation are ways of showing love. They are vocalizations of your care and appreciation for the people in your life. They demonstrate to a loved one that you have noticed what they are doing or who they are and that you are thankful for their presence in your life. They acknowledge the efforts done by someone else (in anything they do) because they have affected you and blessed you.
You might think that this is an easy thing to do. You’re exactly right! Words of affirmation takes almost no effort at all. So why do we struggle to give them? Why do so many people often say that they do not feel loved or appreciated?
The answer is that we are selfish.
Think about it. As we go through our daily lives, we want to be recognized for what we do and who we are. When we don’t get this recognition, we decide (sometimes consciously and other times out of bitterness) not to give it to others. We don’t receive words of affirmation, so we don’t give them out. Others don’t get any affirmation, so they don’t give it out. And so on.
It’s a perpetual cycle that is only stopped when someone decides to go above it all and just love people.
So let’s do just that. Let's break the cycle. There are many ways to love people. Words of affirmation is just one of these ways. And yet, it is so simple, so readily available, that we can’t help but embrace it. Who are the people you care about? Better yet, who is in your life at all?
Think about these people and the ways that they are putting forth effort. Think about the ways that what they do benefits and blesses you. Think about the reasons you love them. Does a parent always give you a good meal at night? Does someone work to put that food on your table? Does someone clean up the house or do the dishes every night? Does someone do kind things for people around you? Does someone sit down with you when you’ve had a bad day? Does someone make you laugh or give you joy?
There are so many ways that people express love and effort. The least we can do is acknowledge these efforts. A simple, “I noticed you did that and I really appreciate it,” can go a long way. Just say, “thank you.” Just say, “I love you.” Just say, “you did a great job.” It’s easy and the value can be limitless.
Whether you receive any words of affirmation in your own life, never be afraid to give them to others. Always seek new ways to show love to others and to recognize them for what they do and who they are.