How to Save a Life pt. III: The Conversation
Your friend has told you that they are thinking about suicide. Maybe even more, they are planning ways to actually do it. It’s time to step in and help.
You’re not qualified. You have no license or certification. But you care and that is all that matters right now.
If someone you know has told you that they are considering suicide, it is not the time to stop talking or to walk away. They are asking for help, whether they really know it or not. It’s your chance to show them how much you care.
One of the best ways to do this is to just listen. Ask them why they are feeling this way or what has led up to this moment. Often times there is a lengthy past of difficult situations, relationships, or realities that would otherwise go unnoticed. Many times, the person needs to share this part of their lives to get started back in the right direction.
It is important to know that your job here is not to “fix” them.
Too often, people are afraid of these conversations because they don’t feel equipped to fix everything going on with a person. But that’s not what you’re here to do. You’re here to talk to them, to listen to them, and then to get them connected to the trained professionals who can help them (we’ll get to that soon).
So talk to them. They may tell you things you never really thought you would hear. They may tell you things you didn’t want to hear. This is all a part of being there, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually for them.
As you talk you will see opportunities to give encouragement. Try to avoid downplaying the things they are talking about or just trying to look on the bright side. These are real, serious struggles for them. Treat them that way. Acknowledge the struggles and that they are real and then allow for some positive encouragement.
This is also a perfect time to talk about God. Whatever the person’s struggles, Jesus does not want us to take our own lives. He wants us to live full and love-filled lives that honor Him (John 10:10). Teach them about God’s grace and about His helping hand. Remind them of His love and compassion, His use of trials to strengthen us and draw us closer. Pray with them and share God’s love. It is God who can save, not us.
Don’t be burdened about finding the right words but trust in the Holy Spirit to guide. Take a look at these verses to help guide you encouragement.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
“Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”
“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all.”
As you talk, try to help them understand the value of their life to you, to God, to others, and to themselves. Try to help them see that they should live and that you don’t want to see them injured or gone.
This can be a difficult conversation to have. It can also be one of the most rewarding. You can strengthen your relationship with the individual and quite literally save their life. But we don’t stop here. We have to get them help. That’s where the final step comes in.